Ninja Tree

I have been thinking a lot about future and graduating and life after graduating. I have been stuck at home basically not able to do anything because all my tools are back at school and so I feel like I am wasting my life away. I will be graduating in the end of this year and so far I do not have a job lined up, I am stuck in my on campus jobs because it would be stupid to quit and there is no sense in getting a job in california if I am leaving right after I graduate.  so desperately want to be stable for a while. I mean have a job that supports me enough to have an apartment and still do art. I have no desire to live at my parents house after graduation… and I mean no desire at all… the sooner I can get out the better. I feel like they hold be back. Plus my sister and brother are here and it just stresses me out that I might end up with their fate. 

So as of now after graduation I will be here in colorado (of which I love the area… I mean loooove) then hopefully if I get in, there is an artist in residency program in red lodge montana. I would love love love to do this. the only problem is that the plan has been to go to europe and travel their for a while after graduation, so that has been put on the back burner for now. but then still if i get the residency it is a year and then after that… where to!!!!! I wouldn’t mind living in montana for sure, I mean I love the area and I have family there. but what will I do to support myself? I have to get a job and those towns are hard to get jobs in because well they are small towns… everyone knows everyone and they all have jobs. :( ugggg plus I want to travel and I want to see the world, or at least the us and canada. that way I can figure out where I want to live and be happy! time is wasting away too fast and I just need it to slow down so I can enjoy myself and maybe figure out my life. maybe I have been living in california too long and I am accustomed to the hard ways of living and finding places to live and everything about it. in other rural areas it isn’t that hard, it is kind of like the old times and they are a little more relaxed… I just need to get out of the city… but first I need to graduate :( uggg the pressure!!!!